My conscience vs my feeling

urm.. a few days back a fren of mine ask me a question that make me feel like crying a bit..

of coz la about my ex kn..

hmm.. her question, "What if, he wants u back? Will u accept him?"

This question is a question i keep on asking myself..

I ask my fren back "What do u think? Shud i?"

And she said, "I dont think u shud.. coz he dumped u.. it means he doesnt want u anymore.. n most probably he wont ask to get back with him"

....

I'm a bit dumbstruck coz thats definitely one of my conscience/logical thinking been telling me since we broke up.. Once guys have been decided, they really mean it.. there's no need for u to be sad about coz it wont change his decision.. n of coz i have to be strong.. i dont wanna be a girl who too afraid to look up to the sky after being dump.. n i live not for him.. i have my Creator and parents..

Thats what my conscience been telling me.. but what my heart been telling me is totally different.. He probably been thinking a lot about our matter n he thinks this is the best solution to get out from the problem.. when he settle it, he probably will try to get me back..

huh! so lame~ <-- this is what my conscience will always fight back.. haha.. lawak la plak.. mcm split identity je aku ni..

But what if he really settle the matter n wanna get serious with u? <--- my feeling

He will never.. coz if he really love u, he wont leave u <--- my conscience

What if he say sorry for that? <--- my feeling

Ok then.. what about ______ ? Do they really ok about u? (i cant tell it right here.. its between me n him) <--- my conscience.. my utmost scary things about this relationship

Ok.. juz leave it and drop it then.. <--- my feeling surrender.. coz my feeling know exactly how it felt.. it hurt.. hukhuk..

What i can say for now, i dont have faith in him returning back to me.. but i have my faith in Allah swt to bring me a good guy for me.. if he is the one, He will surely show us the way.. but if not, until death, He wont bring him back to me..

Frankly speaking, if i wanna start a new relationship right now, it's not because i wanna forget about him but i'm over him.. its been a year.. i thinks its enuff to think wisely n move on with my life.. my heart? dont worry.. if this new guy know how, he will certainly got it..

insyaAllah..

^_^

wasalam