i heart question mark

please hear me hunny
as this is from my most soft heart..
yet..
you never listen..
no matter how i say this to you..

something wrong, i know..
i'm backing off..
dont make a girl just like your doormat..
we have our pride too..
enuff for your wanting-me-when-you-only-want-me things..
you say you love me..
not as close friend..
well..
dont expect i do trust it from a guy..
who has lost the touch of what real love mean..

you are selfish..
n you're not sorry..

i should change my blueprint.. <--- terpengaruh ngan cleo.. tajuk plak terpengaruh ngan lagu taylor swift.. hahaha..

my fav drama masa sekolah

Tadi borak-borak dengan kawan aku pasal cerita-cerita yang kitorang layan masa zaman sekolah2 dulu sampai la sekarang.. hehe.. so here it is..

1. Charmed
My most favorite! Takleh miss cite ni.. tapi since Leo dah jadi Elders, aku tak follow dah.. season 8 dah kot time tu.. seyes best ok cite ni.. aku suka ar witchcraft.. hahahaha.. aku pernah nangis tengok cite ni.. aku suka sume2 sis dalam cite ni.. kalo soh pilih aku nak power apa, mesti aku tak tahu nak jawab apa.. tapi sian kakak dia yang nama Prue tu mati.. tapi ekceli pelakon Prue tu yang takmo dah berlakon dalam cite ni.. huhu.. sebab tu dimatikan wataknya..

2. Gilmore Girls
aku suka lorelai and rory.. diorang membuatkan aku want to build a good mom-daughter bonding with my mom.. this drama is a good example ok.. satu aku suka cita ni ialah diorang cakap laju gila.. hahahaha.. seyes.. ouh.. i know jared padalecki here before dia berlakon dalam supernatural.. hahaha.. and the funniest thing is, his name is dean in gilmore girls, and dalam supernatural nama abang dia ialah dean.. and dalam season 2 kot diorang ada misi kat hollywood and diorang pegi kat set gilmore girls.. ahahahaha.. cute!

3. Popular
ouh.. cite ni mungkin tak ramai yang ikut.. teens.. glee lebih kurang macam dia.. cuma bezanya glee tu muzikal.. heh.. tapi ok la.. aku suka.. aku ingat lagi ari khamis, kat tv2, aku mesti tengok start dari kul 8.30mlm, aku layan maximum exposure dulu. kul 9 cita angel, kul 10 cite popular.. haha.. ouh.. aku kenal christopher gorham sebelum dia berlakun untuk jake 2.0.. hoho.. time ni, glamer guy mesti nama josh.. macam trend tau..

4. Roswell
ouh.. i love jason behr.. aku pernah tampah poster jason behr kat locker aku masa aku matrik.. huaha.. cite ni? ala2 vampire diaries.. hahaha.. i dont know what happen pada cite ni.. aku tak follow sangat pon cite ni.. dia seangkatan dengan dawson's creek.. tapi dawson's creek aku kureng cikit.. hahaha..

5. Angel
ouh.. aku suka angel.. and aku tau dia bercinta dengan buffy the vampire slayer.. tapi aku tak pernah tengok buffy.. aku rasa time tu buffy just ada kat astro je.. tapi ada satu episode tu, buffy wat special appearance untuk angel.. hahaha.. i like.. paling aku ingat watak demon yang kaler ijo yang jadi kawan angel.. ouh.. aku rasa anak angel sangat encem time tu.. and aku stop sampai anak dia berubah jadi jahat je.. pastu tak follow dah.. aku rasa sebab aku masuk matrik..

6. Sabrina the Teenage Witch
aku paling inagt kucing itam dia bercakap.. nama salem.. hahaha.. that time aku tak tahu yang salem sebenarnya nama tempat kat US yang dikatakan mengamalkan ilmu sihir.. hoho.. aku ingat aunt hilda and zelda yang suka kalo mengamuk, mesti ada bunyi petir.. haha.. dia pon ada book of spell macam dalam charmed tu.. hehe..

7. My wife and kids
aku rasa wayans brothers ni memang sangat2 la kelakar.. and memang best ar sitcom famly yang dia kuarkan ni.. humor dia memang best la.. lagipun dia berkisar pasal family kan.. so, seyes best.. aku suka..

p/s: amacam.. korang layan cita apa pulak?

PROVOKED part 2

ok.. arini lagi sekali aku didatangi mat itam yang provoked aku tempoh hari.. cuma hari ini dia kurang la provoked aku berbanding hari tu.. coz i have to stand up for myself kan..

aku cerita ngan mak and ayah aku tempoh hari on how they say our culture is very conservative, people sleep early accept for KL..

ayah aku suruh aku cakap gini,

1. what we practice in our culture mostly reflex our religion.. our religion itself guide us not to be so socialize.. you can see the bad impact of socializing.. you say back in your country, you are very free right? no wonder your country is very high with hiv..

2. you say that here in serdang, at 12am, people already asleep.. dont you need sleep? malaysian people is feeling safe and harmony.. see, we can sleep.. back in your country, your country is so poor.. so that is why, you work so hard until you dont need any sleep.. isnt it?

keh3.. pandai la ayah aku tolong jawab kan.. kalo la aku leh pinjam jap otak n mulut ayah aku time tu.. hahaha..

hari ni dia datang2 je, dia tanya,

mat itam: where is my gift?

me: what gift?

mat itam: the gift you promise to give me from melaka

me: i dont promise anything to you..

mat itam: haha.. you see, i'm very sad you do this to me..

me: i dont have time to buy you any gift.. i'm pack with family activity.. you can come to melaka and buy it yourself.. its better that way..

mat itam: no.. right now, i'm not feeling that i want to go to melaka.. err.. how far is it?

me: just 2 hours if you go by bus..

mat itam: i got friend from japan, i have take him to KL.. and now i want to bring to Melaka.. let say if i ask you to be my guide, can you?

me: haha.. sorry, no..

mat itam: always the same answers.. from any girls..

me: haha..

mat itam: what so funny?

me: let me be honest with you.. for me, a few good friend is better that thousands of friends.. and i only went out with good friends.. i only treat my good friends..

mat itam: and what criteria do i should have to be your good friend?

me: a girl? ahahaha..

mat itam: no.. no.. you see, i'm crying right now.. (and memang ada air kt pipi dia.. aku taktau mana datang air tu.. oh! aku rasa aku tau.. sebelum tu dia pegang cawan plastik aku yang dah terkondensasi.. what the heck!)

me: i'm just being honest.. seriously.. i dont go out..

mat itam: you see.. its very hard to get thru you..

me: :)

pastu dia say bubye, and dia blah.. duh.. baik jangan datang der.. aiyo..

PROVOKED

i'm being PROVOKED!

ok.. aku sangat tak suka apa yang terjadi petang ni..

ada sorang student mat itam ni selalu datang office, jumpa dr.sutarji..

hi hi ngan dia, biasa lah..

but today, he approach me.. to know me better..

he take coins from my table and say "can i take this?"

a bit blur about what he trying to say.. is he joking around or what..

Mat itam: tomorrow is public holiday. Dont you go back to your hometown?

me: Yeah.. i'm going back..

Mat itam: will you bring anything? for me?

Me: (asal la mamat ni) i dont go out often..

Mat itam: You said here is boring, you stay at home.. then in hometown also you do the same.

Me: i've got my family. Its different you see..

Mat itam: wow.. you are conservative..

Me: haha

Mat itam: when will i see you again? can we meet somewhere? Putrajaya or KL?

Me: err..

Mat itam: how i'm gonna meet you if i dont have your number? (he makes me think)

Me: err..

Mat itam: you see, malaysian is really different.. they dont give their number.. i got number from girl, but then if i sent message asking, how are you? they dont reply.. why??

Me: Usually we dont entertain things like that.. asking have you eat, is like a standard question.. its not really important to reply.

Mat itam: ouh.. if i ask how your research, would you reply? you see, if in the outside world, it is ok if we exchange phone number. its not like i'm gonna phone you always? but then stil, what the used of getting phone number if i call and you will not pick it up.. when we are friends, we can share stories you know.. not only talks about studies, love..

Me: haha (ketawa tak ikhlas ble dengar perkataan love)

Mat itam: why is it actually? its not like i'm gonna harm you..

Me: no.. its not it.. we just think that it is a waste of time spending time with someone who we dont have future with (berterabur dah ayat aku)

Mat itam: well.. you cant say that.. in maybe 7 to 8 years, you might be divorce.. who knows.. i'm just saying this.. email.. malaysian treat their email like God.. its very important to them.. Do you got boyfriend?

Me: yeah.. in Melaka.. (bohong sunat lagi aku)

Mat itam: i see.. you see.. i just want you to change..

Me: it cant be.. its mentality.. we grow up with it..

Mat itam: (geleng2 pale macam kecewa gila ngan jawapan2 aku) hmm.. you are stubborn.. you know that? and i like that..

Me: haha

Mat itam: you know, if you lose your scarf, you look like US people..

Me: (puji aku ke ni? ahaha)

Mat itam: you see my skin? its dark.. people here say people like me is crazy with sex and bad.. do you think like that too?

Me: err.. naa~

mat itam: you dont tell lies..

Me: haha.. yeah.. i dont tell lies..

Mat itam: so, can i have your phone number? no?

Me: (geleng2 lagi)

Mat itam: (muka kecewa gila lagi sekali) see you on tuesday.. i gotta run.. Dr.sutarji will be get mad if he saw me stil here, talking with a girl..

well.. hey.. dalam cita mat salih, you wont approach a girl if you are not interested in her right? so, what's your point in approaching me? asking me, i got a bf or not, saying things like, i like you.. duh.. suppose i answer him like that.. and give straight to his face.. arghh.. i hate foreigners!

p/s: ayat mungkin telah di ubah.. tapi sedikit sebanyak, perbualan kami begini.. dan dia ada je cerita macamana dia di nigeria dan dia di australia and japan.. so, ilmu kat dada dah cukup kot nak judge malaysian people..

and i dont mind if he wants to talk to me.. i can understand.. and as a good malaysian students, i can give feedback on the topics.. enough la kan.. nak apa lagi.. provoking me on how we, malaysian think, he really piss me..

a date?

Dear bloggie,

"we have known each other for almost 5 6 years.. and this will be the 1st time we will be going out together.. call me romantic or what.. but i'm the kind of person who cherish everything about us and i dont want anybody else to be with us"

ok.. must i go out with him?

i mean.. a real date? only the two of us?

can i trust him?

but this msj is seriously sweet.. i know.. sweet talker.. haha..

penat save kat saved msj.. tengok2 dah takdak.. t'delete kot? sayang betul.. haha..

hmm.. dont get me wrong.. he just a fren.. a close fren.. who got issues.. with attitude and himself.. totally different from me.. but at least his not a junkie or alcoholic..

this relationship WILL NEVER work out.. we have made it clear.. sorry to those who thought that i'm winning over his heart or the one that thought i'm 'supporting' him.. nuh-uh.. you all thought wrong.. and you hurt me.. thanks for that.. huhu..

reason i put this on the blog? haha.. nothing.. it's only because i accidentally delete his msj.. i dont want to forget.. i dont kept diary.. so, this can do.. it's not a secret..

and dont worry peeps.. i'll ask parents permission to go out with him.. ;p

and.. its on july.. haha.. lama lagi.. macam2 boleh berlaku kan..

kalo terdetik niat jahat dihati, harap tak jadi la date ni.. tapi kalo niat baik yang disemai, then i pray for the best..

salam

Sabah 7-10 January 2010

Dear bloggie,

I'm sorry that i've been neglecting you lately due to the fact that i'm not in the mood to share anything with the world.. haha..

ive been to sabah last weekend.. it was awesome! tapi to those who like to observe the beauty of the nature je la.. hoho..

8th January 2011

on the 1st day, we get up as early as 4.30a.m to do our subuh prayer and start our journey to Ranau at 6am..

seriously, sabah sangat banyak anjing.. huhu..

then we stopped at pekan Nabalu.. buy some keropok ubi yang sangat sedap! you should try it when you stop here.. coz the keropok ubi takde kat KK.. then we stop again somewhere to take a few pictures with pix of gunung kinabalu.. hee..

we plan to stop at Kinabalu Park.. but there too foggy.. so, we didnt stop.. this pix taken before reaching kinabalu park.. you can see the cloud is, wow.. like in an airplane or sumthing.. you can guess the latitude here..

and we pass thru pekan kundasang.. the road? heh.. mostly under construction.. we got dust everywhere.. but there's a lot of fresh vegetables along the road.. i see baby tomatoes!

then we stop at Ranau for breakfast.. we had our Sabah soto.. people from Sabah alwiz say that soto sabah is the best.. no soto in semenanjung can be compared to sabah soto.. i wonder.. haha.. and it's delicious.. it is like bihun sup if u asked me.. heh..

then we make our move to Poring hotspring.. hey.. i got hotspring in Malacca too.. but i got to try this coz they say this place is famous.. we stop to buy egg to get our egg boil in the hot spring.. hoho.. but the pool for boiling egg is close.. and i think its super-hot by looking at the steam.. and the smell.. haha.. its like rotten eggs.. well, it's sulfur.. huhu..

after relaxing our leg in the warm water, we go for canopy walk.. o-ho.. we dont plan for this.. it's tiring!! and for me who barely exercise for this past semester, i hardly catch my breath.. haha.. dah gemok lagipon kan.. untuk orang2 yang gayat untuk naik jambatan gantung, this is for you.. hahaha.. :P

after this, we plan to go to Tagal Sungai Moroli.. sebab tak jauh dari Poring.. you know what's in here? fish that eat our feet!! haha.. walaupon aku dah biasa rasa time kat sagil, tapi nak gak rasa kat sabah.. this is one of the place that i want to go in sabah! but unluckily for us, diorang tutup sebab ada camping.. sobs sobs.. rugi betul..

then we went to Mesilau park.. i think this is one of starting trail to summit of mount kinabalu.. ok.. now.. i want you to imagine kundasang as tanah rata, cameron highland.. but then u have to climb up more in order to go to this place.. the road can be up to 140-130 degrees slope.. we are damn scare by looking at the road.. if you dont know how sloppy it was, down here, i give you the protector we used to use during our elementary school.. haha.. so u can imagine it..


then we lepak-ing sekejap at the Mesilau.

this is the picture of us.

then we went to a dairy farm.. seyes rasa macam kat new zealand ok.. haha.. macam la pernah pergi new zealand kan..


tengok tu.. friesian cow.. oh.. i remember when i take pengurusan penternakan during my bachelor degree, one of my fav cow, is this.. yela.. selalu nampak kat iklan fernleaf tu kan.. now, dah nampak yang real punya.. haha.. sume tengah beratur untuk diperah susu.. pandai la diorang.. seyes tak tipoo.. the trick is, kena la bagi diorang makan sampai kenyang.. hoho..

after that, kitorang gi makan2 kat tanjung lipat.. i ate nasi goreng udang butter.. harga rm7.. hoho.. sapa cakap seafood kat sabah murah.. hehe.. ia akan murah kalau beli yang fresh punya.. kalo takat kat kedai makan, orang dah siapkan siap2, gi mana2 pon sama je harga.. kan..

9th January 2010

basically today we do nothing except shopping.. hohoho.. akhirnya, aku pergi gak pasar filipin yang aku banyak kali dengar sebab jual mutiara naga.. kui3.. mutiara je la.. naga takdak.. huhu..

ouh.. now where to find cheap t shirt? kalo masuk pasar filipin tu, gerai aunti tu yang paling blakang, belah kiri.. baju dia numbered.. and if you want that t shirt, you say the number and you size.. the white 1, harga dia rm8 and the black 1, harga dia rm13.. its cheap! ouh btw, if you plan to buy pearls, buy in single shop coz its get cheaper if u buy many.. and explore 1st before u made up ur mind..

ouh.. jangan lupa beli amplang ngan kuih cincin.. to me, kuih cincin sangat la sedap!!!! really like it.. and another thing u can buy for dried seafood is ikan bilis halus2 yang kat semenanjung memang takdak..

lepas tu kitorg lepak kat tanjung aru.. biasa la.. kalo dah kat tepi pantai, main2 air jela.. keh3.. after that, g makang! this time, is much2 more expensive.. hahaha.. nanti aku masakkan korang ikan bakar lagi sodap dari ni! seyes! hoho..

malam tu, kitorg lepak kat umah je, layan ajl.. huahaha.. rugi kan? nak wat macamana.. dah time tu gak la ajl tetiba nak ada kan.. huhu..

salam..

Anugerah Juara Lagu ke 25

Tolong Ingatkan Aku - Ana Raffali

Jangan disusun kata-kata penamat
Jangan disebut baris ayat keramat
Biar lenyap diserap sunyi
Biar senyap yang tak menyepi

Tolong ingatkan aku
Kisah kau tersedar
Dengan saku penyeluk masa

Mari patahkan papan markah lama
Mari padamkan buku tiga lima
Biar luka sembuh sendiri
Biar lupa dimakan hari

Tolong ingatkan aku
Kisah kau tersedar
Dengan saku penyeluk masa
Kau dampingi aku
Setiap detik jantungku berdetak
Setiap nota jiwaku berlagu-lagu

Bila marah merasuk minda
Kecewa menyelubungi jiwa
Aku lupa

Tolong ingatkan aku
Kisah ku tersedar
Dengan kasih memeluk rasa
Ku teringatkanmu
Setiap detik jantungku berdetak
Setiap nota jiwaku berlagu-lagu

Tolong ingatkan aku kisah kita
Tolong ingatkan aku
Kisah ku tersedar
Dengan kasih memeluk rasa

Tolong ingatkan aku
Kisah kita

ok.. ni la lagu yang dah menang AJL 25.. shaddap tak shaddap, lagu ni menjadi pilihan juri.. aku ada berasa kechiwa sebab lagu black-sofea jane tak menang.. ramai gak aku rasa tak pueh ati ngan keputusan juri.. tapi perlu gak diingat, AJL berdasarkan ritma dan puisi yang terhasil.. bukan sekadar vokal dan kesedapan lagu tu dibawa..

ok la.. aku dah tersedar yang puisi yang dicipta untuk sofea jane tidak sepuitis lagu ana raffali ni..

"Kisah kau tersedar, Dengan saku penyeluk masa" dan "Kisah ku tersedar, Dengan kasih memeluk rasa"

simbolik saku penyeluk masa tu ialah menunjukkan every second, masing2 hadir dalam diri masing.. betapa masing2 dah mencuri masa masing2.. err.. paham dop? ngehehe..

aku suka bait yang ni "Ku teringatkanmu, Setiap detik jantungku berdetak, Setiap nota jiwaku berlagu-lagu" fergh.. best2..

dalam lagu ni nampak la diorang bergaduh kan.. sebab tu la muncul lagu ni.. tolong ingat kan aku, tentang kisah aku dan kau.. sorg saku penyeluk masa.. sorg lagi merasa kaish memeluk rasa.. dan setiap kali itu, jantung dupdap2, setiap tu jugak jiwanya berlagu2.. aceceh..

ok.. tu je update aku..

Salam..